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Mad Dash

by Kicksie

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1.
don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid. (you cannot escape what people say so just do your thing you cannot escape what people say so just do your thing) you can see it if you close your eyes. you can feel it when you hug your sides.
2.
da da da-da da da da da da-da-da da da-da da da stop and stare we make our own moves now you’re too indecisive to handle this kind of crowd did you feel that land on your back i’m up, looking down now it caught my attention after you had left for the first time and then you said you’d change as good friends we took your word for it but you can bet next time we will not let you back in you tell me how much i mean to you and then tell all our friends why you don’t think i do, uh what? yeah i felt that for a second then i got over it quick it caught my attention after you had left for the second time and then you said you’d change so again we took your word for it but you can bet next time we will not let you back in we won’t let you back in we won’t let you back in we won’t let you back in we won’t let you back in da da da-da da da da da da-da-da da da-da da da it caught my attention after you had left for the third time and then you said you’d change again and again, we took your word for it but you can bet next time we will not let you back in it caught my attention after you had left for the last time and then you said you’d change however we stopped taking your word for it so you can bet this time we will not let you back in da da da-da da da da da da-da-da da da-da da da
3.
Mad Dash 03:14
so close to something bigger than your pocket i tried to crawl out of the darkness i tore a hole to let the light in mad dash, i hit the ground and started running faster than ever but still reckless another failure off my checklist the days seem to be squishing all together last time i laughed, i can’t remember that probably doesn’t get much worse i’ll wait for views that extend past my basement that’s half of the reason i did this sailing the seas in search of friendship oh i know that i think i need you so i consume ’til i pass out but you won’t be the thing to help me when i fall down i know you will never listen so you can do what you want now i’m tryna maybe save a life or two in tough crowds and i am just the perfect example of why you should trust your instincts before you push yourself a little too much one day please don’t mess this up
4.
i don’t belong here i know that i can’t stay i turn to see your faces in seats without my place and it’s always been that way i’m moving on i’m growing taller thank you for the offer but i gotta pass it’s just like that life goes that fast how do i cope when you’re first and i’m last? i bet one day we’ll find our footing in this sick little game we’ll change the way it’s played we’ll change the way it’s played i’ll miss you when i’m in the city (will you miss me too) you’re constantly consumed with pity (are we really through) it’s not good for my health will we find our way out? the change in seasons, my god it’s freezing! i guess when i left you took care of yourself you didnt really need me anyways but now when im home everything that you show me proves that you never really did the songs that you write and the girls that you like all changing just as smoothly as you do i wish that i could reach you but the path is there to teach you alone can you tell me everything i wasnt here to see or too busy to know i always thought that i’d be happy leaving home but you’re still laughing guess i might need you more than you know i’ll miss you when i’m in the city (will you miss me too) you’re constantly consumed with pity (are we really through) it’s not good for my health will we find our way out? the change in seasons, my god it’s freezing!
5.
you had no idea what was coming did you me and all my crazy antics crashed right through your window i thought that nothing i did mattered i took it and rewrote the pattern i’m hoping that you hate my guts now you know i’m picking up the pace still blood on my sleeve where did it come from, i’m wondering i’m pretty sure i lost you (lost you) but then again i act like you still care about everything i do i need to medicate maybe i’ll live for better days maybe i’ll open my eyes and see that the world isn’t this bad of a place is that a real thing? is that a real thing? i’ll be honest i miss everything about you is that true? or have i forgotten what i’d been so mad about i thought that nothing i did mattered i took it and rewrote the pattern i’m hoping that you hate my guts now you know i’m picking up the pace still blood on my sleeve where did it come from, i’m wondering i’m pretty sure i lost you (lost you) but then again i act like you still care about everything i do i need to medicate maybe i’ll live for better days maybe i’ll open my eyes and see that the world isn’t this bad of a place is that a real thing? is that a real thing? oh, did you want me to slow down here? i thought that nothing i did mattered i took it and rewrote the pattern i’m hoping that you hate my guts now you know i’m picking up the pace still
6.
who’s to say it means a thing i’ve never really felt this way to taste, to taste cough medicine (medicine, ew) coming of age i’m what ur wearing (yeah, you look good) lil black bowtie, jacket zipped halfway the dirty white shoes with the tear from the griptape shouting stay here i can take what you give me the splinter from the table at the fair pricking ur leg who’s to say it means a thing i’m shy and inexperienced (yo, no experience) u’ll use me like a wirebound to tear me up then write me down (come on) lil black bowtie, jacket zipped halfway the dirty white shoes with the tear from the griptape shouting stay here i can take what you give me the splinter from the table at the fair pricking ur leg oh hey kiddo here with some relationship advice if you think that your relationship does not work at all i will let you know that you can just flip it and shove that finger where the sun don't shine kick them right out give them the boot and throw them out the window because you don't need a relationship to feel confident how about you try our new product the single method the single method is perfectly fine just do what you want and no one can say otherwise please stay tuned lil black bowtie, jacket zipped halfway the dirty white shoes with the tear from the griptape shouting stay here i can take what you give me the splinter from the table at the fair pricking ur leg
7.
smile through the day and when i breathe i think i’m feeling things i know that you’re mad at me but i’m happy because i changed i'm sorry that i ruined all your dreams i left them out it seems how selfish of me
8.
here we go again, i caught on fire and  i cannot pretend, that i’m not engulfed in  all the friday friends, the kids with wills i’ll never bend  every time we met, down at the crosswalk i  prayed for it to end, for all the time i spent, and every text i sent, i faked my plans every weekend  so are you proud of me now  are you proud of me now, when it’s too late to say i’m sorry  our friday friends are hanging around town again our friday friends are hanging around town again our friday friends are hanging around town again if ignorance is bliss, i wish you the happiest life that you can live, as for me i will be fine waiting to forget, that we had ever met  ooh, he fell apart so fast, he made it seem like i had killed both his parents, when i broke up with him, or chopped up all his limbs, can you please get over it  so are you proud of me now  are you proud of me now, when it’s too late to say i’m sorry (our friday friends are hanging around town again our friday friends are hanging around town again our friday friends are hanging around town again)
9.
i’m not happy, but i’m not crying i must be somewhere in between i’m to scared to just admit it ‘cause i don’t wanna lose anything and i, and i i’m done chasing after stupid dreams that i could never achieve i’m done giving my everything i gotta stop expecting things and where were you when you told me i was perfect and i was screwed so tell me was it worth it 'cause i've done every little thing i can do every little thing i can say til i found every perfect version of you and buried all my troubles away and i, and i i’m done chasing after stupid dreams that i could never achieve i’m done giving my everything i gotta stop expecting things i can’t control myself stuck on all the words you said i can’t control myself breaking all our promises i cannot help myself digging all these holes again sadness became a trend so if i cried it’d mean nothing and i, and i i’m done chasing after stupid dreams that i could never achieve i’m done giving my everything i gotta stop expecting things i’m done giving my everything i gotta stop expecting things i’m done giving my everything i gotta stop expecting things
10.
Tenth Grade 03:28
(by the stop sign we slept on her family friends lawn) take me for a ride in your little car on the side someone keyed your door you don’t seem to mind that’s alright you had fell for me in my dreams and i had fallen apart just admit it, you still think of me when you’re alone but what if you’re not alone? what if you’re with your friends? i used to be one of them. sometimes i still miss it. we used to race down the parking lot when everyone else went home for the night. you and i were so close at the time. didn’t you say we’d stay that way? you’re too indie, i’m too realistic about my life. oh what a shame, i took the blame. of course i did, i suck at everything. drag me to the ground on my knees again pull me down i can handle it i’m used to it now lost myself don’t know where you went but i texted you all of the time and i thought of you day and night how do i get you to reply? you and i were so close at the time. didn’t you say we’d stay that way? you’re too indie, i’m too realistic about my life. oh what a shame, i took the blame. of course i did, i suck at everything. what’s wrong with me? i wish i was still in the tenth grade. you and i were so close at the time.
11.
how did you know that the words you said, they would grow into movie scenes, playing out at your friend’s house, bumming off them flash forward now, breaking the necks of everybody around stepping on them so you could reach to the top was it worth it? do you feel good? summer for your friends isn’t what it could’ve been they wished you the best, you’re just way too serious what did you want? were you only there for the drugs? since you left when they were all gone that’s not right man, they caught onto that you got upset they followed you when you had walked out of class they still don’t know how it had gotten that bad under influence of the person they turned into summer for your friends isn’t what it could’ve been they wished you the best, you’re just way too serious enemies exist in the hearts of everyone no one understands, blinded by the things they want
12.
i go back to that place just to sit and cry we would hand around there all the time take in your breathing, you have what i needed i’m glad that you’re happy, you left me defeated i tried to stay strong, time to move on i can’t keep calm, what do i do so wrong it’s not the same anymore i don’t have fun like i used to, make an excuse to come and see me, i thought you would eventually you never did so i waited and waited and waited and screamed i thought we made up or was that a dream please tell me or please just say anything take in your breathing, you have what i needed i’m glad that you’re happy, you left me defeated i tried to stay strong, time to move on i can’t keep calm, what do i do so wrong
13.
i chased you down the sidewalk right around the block towards the high school that i probably should’ve went to i didn’t know what to do i didn’t know why you ran but i wanted you to settle down i wanted you to understand i don’t mean to treat you the way that i do i know it’s not fair to you waiting for your call now waiting for someone to give me answers waiting for a sign but you haven’t you haven’t you haven’t seconds feel like hours can you come home, i’ll say it louder can you please come home ‘cause you haven’t you haven’t you haven’t On and off my phone now Sitting on the park bench we know all too well When we’d sit there And talk about life and how the little birds fly and we’d sing And we’d sing forever Making up the words as we sat there with no shame to bear Swear i was never ashamed Were you ever ashamed? I’m still waiting for your call now Waiting for you to give me answers Waiting for something to happen To happen To happen The minutes feel like months now Will you come home I’ll sing it louder Waiting so long cause you haven’t You haven’t You haven’t waiting for your call now waiting for someone to give me answers waiting for a sign but you haven’t you haven’t you haven’t seconds feel like hours can you come home, i’ll say it louder can you please come home ‘cause you haven’t you haven’t you haven’t
14.
i’m my own queen. i make my own destiny. in a castle higher than i’ve ever reached. i’m my own queen.

credits

released May 3, 2019

i did basically everything
piano by my sister
other vocals by whoever features on their respective tracks

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Kicksie Toronto, Ontario

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